Communication and Selling

Living is selling. Look back at your childhood remembering all the “sales calls” you made. You worked up your sales pitch on getting your parents to take you somewhere, raise your allowance, extend your curfew, buy you that new bike. Your childhood sales career prepared you for adulthood, when you tried to sell an employer on hiring you for your first job, getting a college to admit you, or the car dealer to drop the sticker price. You sell your friends on going to your favorite restaurant. A husband and wife sell constantly – each promoting where to go for dinner, who takes the dog to the vet, what movie should we go to? 

The question is not, are you a salesperson? The question is how might you become more effective and work those miracles?

That's NOT What I Meant

We seem to have all sorts of problems when someone doesn't understand what we said. There is no lack of places (work/home) where this occurs. The amount of books on communication is in the millions. Seems like the problem of being understood is almost like talking to someone from another country and they don't understand your words. It is one of the top two causes of divorce. Communication is best defined as:
A two way process of reaching mutual understanding in which participants not only exchange information, news, ideas and feelings but also create and share meaning.
Mutual understanding and share meaning. Easy to say but sometimes hard to do.

School Days

For me, school was one great big social event. There were people to talk to, events to go to, and lots of friends. After all wasn't that what I was there for. I looked forward to talking to those that sat near me - actually anyone. As I look back over my report cards there was one constant comment from the teachers EVERY YEAR, "Carol talks too much." - "Carol cannot stay in her seat." - "Carol cannot keep quiet." Moving my seat did not make any difference even when moved to the front of the class beside the teacher's desk. Once I was moved out into the hall. Now that was actually painful to me - no one to talk to. How about you? Did you have lots of friends or just a select few? Did you throw up you hand to answer the teacher's questions (even if you didn't know the answer) or did you know the answer but still kept silent? Were you the extroverted or introverted child? How do you remember your school days?

The 3 "U"s (YOU) of Communication

Talking is not communicating.  There must be a speaker, a listener, and an understanding between them. So often I hear, "They just don't understand!" While understanding is the key, we are all different and unique.  You must:
Understand Yourself
Understand Others
Understand the Unique Differences
Our personalities are probably different from each other. I may prefer to communicate by talking, you may prefer to communicate in writing. I may be imaginative, you may be factual. I may speak in overviews, you may need details. I might ask for a decision now, you may need time to mentally process. Once I understand my personality type and understand your personality type, I can then communicate to you in a way that you can understand my meaning. Differences are not wrong....they are just different. It's understanding the differences that will make you and me become better at communicating.